Consider it pure joy my brethren when you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1: 2-4
I have been reading a lot in James this week and found this first passage to be so soothing considering the day we experienced yesterday. I know from our experience with Emily that perseverance is so important as we journey down this road. Yesterday was our most difficult day. What I found to be the hardest part of it was that I felt so lacking in in knowing exactly how to communicate with Joshua. That is so hard for a mom to not be able to connect with her child and to watch someone else exhibit a connection that I so long to have. We had made it through breakfast which is a challenge in and of itself given that he is so independent and wants to feed himself. Needless to say, he wears more of his congee (rice soup) than he gets in his mouth. It doesn’t make matters easier to have about 4 restaurant attendants standing about 6 feet from us just staring. They don’t do much of anything other than watch Joshua make a huge mess. We then came back to the room cleaned up, skyped the kids and headed out to a museum. We had decided to get out and do some sightseeing because Joshua’s energy level is too much for our small hotel room. We arrived at the Xi’an History Museum and I was holding Joshua which is what he prefers. I love holding him and couldn’t be happier that he would rather be in my arm than anywhere else but after a while my back and legs were really hurting so our guide spoke to him in Chinese and told him that mama needed a rest. He got down and proceeded to play chase and run from mommy….not good in a public place. He loves to hit things and did so on the glass cases as well as me. None of his hitting is done in a mean spirited way but more of a playful, this is how I show you I like you way. Nevertheless, his antics were not good in a museum where we were more of a spectacle than normal. Finally, Mike took over and made Joshua hold his hand. Joshua was an unhappy little boy and made sure everyone knew it. I was so miserable because of the stares. Chinese people don’t get the social lessons that it is not polite to stare and they also have no personal space boundaries. The whole situation made me so uncomfortable that I was eager to escape the place as soon as possible. We finally made it through 3 wings of the museum and headed to a Wild Goose Pagoda Buddhist Temple. It was interesting but I was a little worn out after our morning. I held Joshua the whole time and he ended up falling asleep shortly after we arrived at the temple. It was a short tour and then we took a drive through a really nice shopping area. It probably was one of the nicest shopping areas I have seen here in China.
We finished our day in the hotel deciding not to venture out and take a cab to a Chinese theater. Mike really wanted to go but I was done in by the earlier events of the day and also a little nervous about taking a cab alone at night. Call me chicken but the last thing I needed was to get lost at night in China.
As I began the post with the scripture in James I am reminded of God’s promises to never leave us or forsake us. I feel His hand upon us so heavily and even though we have rough days I know He is close by. My heart aches for my little boy as I think how confusing it must be not to be able to understand what we are saying to him. It is so evident that he desperately wants to make us laugh and is in a constant state of entertainment. I sense that his continually moving and busyness is nothing more than his attempts to avoid absorbing the loss I am sure he feels. For all these things, I pray for healing. May God grant me the wisdom to know exactly how to handle ALL of his little antics and emotions in a way that will a soothing balm to his wounded heart. I am so in love with this “little prince” and as we leave Xi’an today and head to Guangzhou, I smile at the thought of all that God has in store for my precious son. He is leaving behind so much which I know will take a while to process but oh what a glorious future awaits him. God, grant me the insights to unlock all those treasures that You have for him.
See you in Guangzhou! Starbucks…woo hoo!
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