After posting to our blog I went about my day. I chatted on the phone with my sister, did a little house work and planned an evening out with Mike and the kids. Later in the afternoon before we left for the evening activities I decided to check my email. Upon signing in a specific email appeared in my inbox. It was an unfamiliar address although the sender's name led me to believe it was something I should read. To my amazement I read the heart of a woman who had been touched by my post about our Connor and moved by God to suggest that I take a look at a little boy on an adoption agency's waiting child list. I immediately clicked on the link and saw the darling face at the bottom of this post for the first time in my life.
I gazed upon the face of this sweet little boy literally stunned. Overwhelmed with many different emotions within about 60 seconds, I knew instantly that it was no coincidence nor was it an accident that God had allowed my path to intersect with the path of this little boy. Confident that God was at work and grateful to this woman whose heart was very attuned to the heart of God I found myself in drawn into considering the possibility that the deep brown eyes looking at me in this photo were indeed those of my son. I know that for those who haven't adopted before this concept of knowing a child is yours simply by looking at a photo can sound a little odd but for those of you who have experienced the gift of a child through adoption, you know exactly what I was feeling on that day. I have never had the joy of giving birth to a child but I have known the miraculous pleasure of looking into the eyes of each of my children and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt from the first time I saw them that they were created for me. This moment was not unlike each of those memories etched in my heart and mind when I came to know my sons and daughters.
After soaking up details of this little boys picture, I noticed that the name given to him by the adoption agency was "Connor" and again was in awe of my God's ways in getting our attention. I quickly read the short details about him and discovered that he was absolutely perfect. Not exactly sure how to approach my husband with these events of the day, I minimized his picture and info on my computer, closed out my email and left with my family for the evening.
As a family we spent the evening doing some things to remember our Connor, went out for dinner and attended Saturday night service at our church. Upon arriving home, I went immediately to our bedroom to change out of my clothes while my husband sat down at my computer in the kitchen. When I returned to the kitchen I noticed that he had pulled up the picture which I had minimized and I quickly provided the details of how I came to have this picture on my computer. Expecting the usual conversation of why bringing another child into our family would be too difficult I was surprised by Mike's response which was quietness. He simply sat in front of the computer staring at the photo.
The next morning we both awoke and talked about the events of the previous day. We both knew that we couldn't deny the miraculous circumstances by which we came to know about this little boy and wanted to walk in obedience to what we felt was an invitation issued by a loving God to once again add another thread to the tapestry of our family. We agreed to send in the initial information and request his file. The agency's website indicated that due to the large number of families interested in the waiting child lists we probably wouldn't hear from them for a couple of days but first thing on Monday morning I received a call from them and his file was emailed by that afternoon and within 24 hours we had submitted our Letter of Intent.
The feelings that filled us were amazement, happiness, nervousness but most of all humbleness. We were so honored that God would think enough of us to give us this opportunity to once again become a mommy and daddy to another child. I am far from perfect when it comes to being a mommy and I fail miserably everyday in doing all the right things with my children but despite that fact God still has enough confidence in me that He knows through His strength I can walk this road again. We were overwhelmed with thankfulness to Him for granting us another son and for the glorious way He chose to bring him to us. In His careful way of restoring our joy, He chose to bring about a memory of happiness on a day that had remained ashes. I will be forever grateful to "mommy2achinagirl" for having a heart that was sensitive to the nudging of the Lord and for stepping out in faith to do something extraordinary. Her willingness to act on the Lords behalf has now giving our family another son and brother. I hope to one day know you face to face and have the opportunity to express my deepest gratitude for giving us this miracle.
