An amazing discovery and a bit of a set back. · October 14, 2009

Today I had the disposable camera that I sent to Bailey in her care package developed.  When I went to pick it up I opened the package and started looking through the photos.  Much to my surprise there were several photos of a piece of paper with the email address, telephone number and address of the foster family.  They were clever enough to take photos of the information so we would get it without the officials knowing about it.  I am a little confused by some of the photos because we met Bailey's foster mother yet there is another woman in the photos and Bailey calls her "mama" to.  The photos were taken in the same apartment and the foster siblings are all the same so maybe this other woman was a nanny or a substitute foster mom.  I guess we'll never really know.

When we got home I showed Bailey the photos.  I was hoping she would shed some light on the mystery woman but that wasn't the case.  She named all of her foster siblings and called the woman "mama" and the man with her "baba".  It is obvious that she loved the her foster family because she had the biggest smile on her face and she talked at warp speed (in chinese) about the photos and the people in them.  Unfortunately, when it was time to put them away she got really upset.  She has cried on and off all evening and has wanted nothing to do with me.  When I pick her up and call myself "mama" as in "tell mama what is wrong" she pushes me away and says "bu mama" or "no mama" as if she is telling me that I am not the mom that she wants or is crying for.  It is really heart breaking to see her go through this and really heart breaking to have the child you love reject you but this to shall pass.  Hopefully morning will bring about a new attitude and she will have forgiven me for taking her away from her foster family.  I can't imagine what she is going through and how scary all of this must be for her.  She has been ripped not only from the only family she has known but also from her culture, familiar sights, sounds, smells and foods and has been thrust into a whole new world.  As I tucked her into bed tonight and told her how much I love her she refused to look at me.  When I tried to kiss her goodnight she pushed me away.  For some reason she doesn't hold the same grudge against Danny and she willingly gave him good night kisses.  I guess to her I am an imposter and seeing the photos today just reminded her of that.

Here are the photos from the disposable camera.  They are not the best quality but at least we got a glimpse into her life before we adopted her.  Oh yeah...she is drinking a bottle in some of them and in one photo she is wearing the dress and necklace that they brough her to us in so I believe it was taken on her last day with them. 

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Bailey with her foster siblings
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